Mastermind Exemplars

"There is a lot of confidence in this piece. What stayed with me most was the treatment of stone as an idea. Orion has spent three hundred years taking the ground beneath him for granted, and Earth forces him to reconsider something he has never previously had reason to think about. That is a much more interesting foundation for the story than simply having him arrive, witness a catastrophe, and leave. The ending also earns its place. When Orion says “I have time,” it brings together his lifespan, his mother's ancient house, and the idea of a young planet eventually becoming stable. It gives the title and the geological premise a sense of scale without spelling everything out. I would mainly revise at sentence level: clear out a few places where several strong images are competing with one another and perhaps add one concrete indication of what these tides would mean for anyone trying to establish a permanent settlement. Otherwise, the piece already knows what it wants to do and carries that idea through to the final line."

Judge's Overall Commentary